THIS YEAR marks the 30th anniversary of the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child – a human rights treaty which sets out the civil, political, economic, social, health and cultural rights of children.
The best way to commemorate its inception is for the government – and the citizenry – to ensure that laws and policies that protect children are implemented, child protection programs and services are accessible to children and their families, and everyone know where to report child abuse cases or get support.
According to the National Baseline Study on Violence against Children (Council for the Welfare of Children, 2016), three out of five Filipino children experience physical abuse, and most of these are in the hands of people who should be caring for them particularly in the home.
There is no justification for violence against children. Hurting a child physically or psychologically because one is drunk, stressed, frustrated or angry about what a child did is unacceptable. We do not have to wait for a child to be injured or killed before ever considering that physical punishments no matter how light are unacceptable. Physical and humiliating and degrading punishments of children must be prohibited.
One case that hogged headlines recently was that of an Ilocos Norte nine-year-old girl who suffered severe head injuries due to the beating inflicted by his grandfather for leaving home without asking permission. Her grandfather is now facing charges of frustrated homicide. Republic Act 7610 provides for the special protection of children from all forms of abuse, neglect, cruelty exploitation and discrimination and other conditions, detrimental to their development.
One way of preventing such incidences is information dissemination on how parents and caregivers can discipline children without having to use violence. When a child commits a mistake (and they will), parents and caregivers should refrain from reacting while angry. Give yourself time to calm down then talk to your child to find out the possible reasons why the child committed the mistake. Express your feelings (e.g., I was angry, I felt disrespected, I was worried) but also give them an opportunity to express themselves. Listen to their side, negotiate and come to an agreement on how he/she can fix the mistake. Then, offer him/her your support. Make sure your child feels loved and cared for even if they committed a mistake.
Discipline is not the same as punishment, but rather teaching and guiding them in ways that make them feel loved and respected. If our goal is for children to grow up to be self-disciplined, responsible, non-violent, respectful and good people, then we need to teach them that by treating them right and by being good role models particularly in their homes where they should feel the most love and protection.
