THE LGBTQIA+ movement has been doing just that — seen in rainbow flags flying high during Iloilo’s pride parades, the increasing presence of LGBTQIA+ characters in teleseryes we watch at night, and the small but steady efforts of schools to create safer, kinder spaces for students. But advocacy also needs strategy. Push too fast, and allies turn hesitant. Assert rights without preparing structures, and resistance hardens. Even within the community, some admit that confrontations can backfire, losing more supporters than they gain. Courage matters, but it must be tempered with patience, openness, understanding, the ability to compromise, and a tactical way of moving the cause forward.
This is why conversation matters. Imagine if the guard had calmly explained the mall’s policy while helping the transwoman raise her concern with management. Or if the transwoman, instead of filming in anger, had first asked whether there were plans for all-gender facilities. Neither scenario erases the pain, but both could have reframed the conflict into dialogue rather than a showdown.
Filipinos know how to live with differences. We eat at fiestas with relatives who disagree on politics, religion, or even which dessert to serve. The value of pakikipagkapwa — seeing others’ dignity — is already part of us. The Marymart clash should be seen less as a battle of rights, more as a breakdown of conversation. Listening could have built a bridge where anger built a wall.
Still, institutions must step up. Businesses cannot wait for ordinances alone. Inclusivity training, clear protocols, and practical infrastructure matter. In truth, Marymart has long been known as a friendly mall where generations of Ilonggos shop and gather. That reputation for community care is something it can build on by embracing inclusivity, because respect is not only humane — it is also good business.
Change, however, takes time. Women’s suffrage took decades. Workers’ rights were won through patience and struggle. Inclusivity will not be different. The danger is letting anger harden divisions before real bridges are built. The cause must bring people closer, not drive them away. Progress is not only about urgency but about what people can truly live with.
Bathrooms may be the battleground today, but the greater issue is dignity in ordinary life — how we treat others, how we raise children, how we make fair rules, how we learn to meet halfway, how we share space with respect, how we find the common good. The Marymart case, though difficult, can be more than just another controversy. It can be a mirror. It asks us: how do we want to live together when differences are not exceptions, but part of the norm? The answer will not come from signs or ordinances alone, but from conversations we choose to have — patiently, respectfully, inclusively, every single day.
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Doc H fondly describes himself as a ‘student of and for life’ who, like many others, aspires to a life-giving and why-driven world that is grounded in social justice and the pursuit of happiness. His views herewith do not necessarily reflect those of the institutions he is employed or connected with./PN
