IT IS A poignant but heart-breaking story of love and loss that as I listened to intently, pierced my heart. I could sense the painful unspoken “what ifs” that hung in the air.
Some 30 years ago, our storyteller, Beulah, had what she called a “fling” with a man of the cloth. I wouldn’t call it a fling though. I would call it a budding romance that defies the norms and traditions of society, no matter what era it unfolds.
As a young woman, sheltered and confined, but experiencing her newfound freedom after passing her licensure board exam and joining the work force, she didn’t give the man’s attention any thought. She was having a blast navigating her brand-new environment.
On the other hand, Chilton or young Fr. Chilton was smitten by her and found means and ways to capture her time especially that her work brought her out of her comfort zone and literally into some faraway place where he was assigned. How serendipitous could that get!
There were many occasions of group activities together with other friends. One would say there was a euphoric feeling of freedom from the clutches of family until Chilton disclosed his authentic feelings for Beulah.
And that changes everything.
That revelation shocked her. I believe she was in complete denial, in absolute disbelief, that a priest could love a woman given their vocation. But really, can’t they?
What followed was a combination of confusion and guilt. “If only he were not a priest,” she uttered dejectedly.
I remember this story some 30 years ago when she confided in me. I never forgot it. Somehow, I kept it in one corner of my hopelessly-romantic mind. I saw my friend falling in love but fighting it because he was a man of the cloth.
Fast forward to the present. When I brought up the topic because I really wanted to write a story of unrequited love—pardon my being a sucker for lost loves, she turned sentimental incredulous that I could still remember it. Of course I remember it! Who forgets a broken heart, huh! Beulah reminded me that sometime decades back, I had met the guy! Goodness me, that meeting I couldn’t recall at all!
But I admired the man then as I do now. He was genuine. He was willing to leave his vocation to marry her. That’s a scary path—imagine the judgment of society, and yet he was willing to tread it. How many men could do that? However, Beulah clung to her conservative values and stayed away from Fr. Chilton.
A few years later, she got married.
What followed was baffling. Chilton stopped serving in church and worked professionally. Beulah never knew why, but sometime later, he got married as well. What are the chances in the world!
I was taken aback by this development. Realizing that he, a man of the cloth, got married, whacked me! What could have triggered it? His broken heart?
I would say Beulah broke his heart by getting married to someone even if he, Chilton, offered her marriage. That brokenness must have led him to a turning point, a crossroads that would change his life forever.
Most brokenhearted people resort to a rebound relationship to help them cope with the acute and searing pain of loss. He must have resorted to this rebound relationship or not, who knows? But the romantic in me could really say with conviction that he needed relief from his broken heart. I couldn’t help but feel forlorn about this tragedy. He was ready to love Beulah, leave the priesthood, and marry her but she declined and stayed true to her values.
This is not a test of what’s right or wrong. These are two individuals who were vulnerable and honest to confront their situation courageously. One chose to leave believing it was the right thing to do—so the other can continue serving the church; but he eventually left the church and got married—a marriage he offered to the lady who gave up on him. Oh my, my heart is aching.
“I won’t hold you back” is a song of Toto that he picked to be their special song.
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The writer hosts Woman Talk with Belinda Sales every Saturday, 10 a.m. at 91.1 Balita FM Tagbilaran City. Momentarily, Woman Talk is taking a short break. Email at belindabelsales@gmail.com. X @ShilohRuthie./PN
