BY HERMAN M. LAGON
DIVORCE is sometimes mistakenly viewed as a sign of failure, but this mindset ignores the courage and tenacity required to make such a decision.
Divorce is about making a brave decision to make the necessary changes in your life, not giving up. It is about discovering your actual self again, finding serenity, and going after happiness.
This is not an easy decision to make; rather, it is motivated by the desire for authenticity and personal well-being in a society that frequently encourages us to remain in unpleasant circumstances.
This is so well expressed by The Bat Wolf, a powerful voice in the Divorce Pilipino Coalition Group: divorcing someone is a brave act of empowerment and self-respect. For a lot of people, leaving toxic relationships that have depleted their emotional, mental, and financial resources is the reason. Once-joyous relationships can turn into abusive and manipulative prisons.
Resolving to leave such a situation is not a sign of failure but rather one of survival and self-preservation. Studies like Anderson’s (2014) study published in the Journal of Marriage and Family demonstrate that individuals who leave emotionally abusive marriages frequently experience significant improvements in their mental health; many of them report decreased anxiety and depression in as little as a year.
Divorce can also be a turning point in a person’s life, enabling them to find their true selves again outside of their unhappy marriage. It is an opportunity to rekindle neglected interests, passions, and social tiesāthings that frequently fade away in an unsatisfactory relationship.
Wang and Amato (2016) found that when people reconstruct their lives around the things that are most important to them, divorced people frequently experience higher levels of life satisfaction. This research was published in The Journal of Positive Psychology. Discovering the courage to live true to who you are is the ultimate goal of this journey of rediscovery, not merely healing.
Divorce can also be a strong motivator for personal development. Overcoming the challenges of divorcing someone fosters emotional grit, self-awareness, and resilience. According to research published in 2018 by the American Psychological Association, people who experience divorce frequently experience increased self-efficacy and self-esteem afterward. It is not just the end; it is the beginning of something new, where you can set healthier boundaries in relationships going forward and become more aware of your own needs.
Divorce teaches you the value of healthier boundaries as you go through life. It offers the chance to grow from past errors and forge closer, more courteous bonds with others. Research published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships (Johnson & Greenberg, 2017) indicates that people who have gotten a divorce and attended counseling are more likely to go on to have more satisfying and well-balanced relationships in the future. In this way, a divorce is about assuring a better future and letting go of the past. (To be continued)/PN
