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[av_heading heading=’JUST ANOTHER DAY ‘ tag=’h3′ style=’blockquote modern-quote’ size=” subheading_active=’subheading_below’ subheading_size=’15’ padding=’10’ color=” custom_font=” av-medium-font-size-title=” av-small-font-size-title=” av-mini-font-size-title=” av-medium-font-size=” av-small-font-size=” av-mini-font-size=” admin_preview_bg=”]
BY LUIS BUENAFLOR JR.
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I WROTE this column about a year ago; it was to express an emotional situation I was into at that time. Now it’s a couple of days till Christmas, somehow that situation remains so. I suppose it’s just appropriate for an encore.
I’ve always remembered “Left Alone” as the name of a jazz bar in Creekside Arcade somewhere in Pasong Tamo, Makati. It was quite popular in the ‘90s among jazz aficionados and this was during the heydays of Citylite 88.3 Smooth Jazz Radio, Kiss Jazz 101.1 and 105.1 Crossover.
The late ‘80s till the end of the ‘90s were the heady days of jazz as a music genre. These were also the days when jazz bars were the place “to see and be seen.” Who can forget “Jazz Rhythms” in Makati and “East St. Louie” in Quezon City and, of course, “Birds of the Same Feathers” along Timog Avenue also in Quezon City? At any given night there was always live “jazz” with the likes of Jacqui Magno, Louie Reyes and Boy Katindig performing. And then there was Calesa Bar at Century Park Hotel where one could find Bong Penera and the “Batukada” band live.
“Left Alone” is actually a song written by one of the icons of mainstream jazz singer/songwriter Billie Holiday. The song is a poignant expression of longing and love.
Where’s the love that’s made to fill my heart?
Where’s the one from whom I’ll never part?
First they hurt me, then desert me
I’m left alone, all alone
There’s no house that I can call my home
There’s no place from which I’ll never roam
Town or city, it’s a pity
I’m left alone, all alone
Seek and find they always say
But up to now it’s not that way
Maybe fate has let him pass me by
Or perhaps we’ll meet before I die
Hearts will open, but until then
I’m left alone, all alone
I never thought that in my December years “Left Alone” will be used to describe a situation, perhaps an experience, hopefully a phase.
Perhaps it’s the longing, the loneliness and the fear of having to face all of life’s travails alone. Simple ordinary things like meeting for coffee and conversation, an early morning or late afternoon walk will never be the same when you’re so used to doing it with someone you love now it all becomes a solitary journey.
One of the sweetest things in life is waking up with someone you love having a cup of tea to begin your day. When you’re alone you still wake up in the morning because you have to as there are obligations and people that depend on you. The simple things like lunch or dinner you’d rather ignore because eating alone is completely depressing but you eat just to live.
The saddest part is there is no forever; you cannot waste the little time you have left in this world waiting in vain.
So you sit by the window, watch the rain drops fall, listening to Art Garfunkel’s song of longing
My mind,s distracted and diffused
my thoughts are many miles away
they lie with you when you’re asleep
and kiss you when you start your day
And a song I was writing is left undone
I don’t know why I spend my time
Writing songs I can’t believe
With words that tear and strain to rhyme
And so you see I have come to doubt
all that I once held as true
I stand alone without beliefs
the only truth I know is you
And as I watch the drops of rain
weave their weary paths and die
I know that I am like the rain
there but for the grace of you
And this sentimental old fool waits till he becomes comfortably numb. (brotherlouie16@gmail.com)/PN
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