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BY GORDON GUILLERGAN
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“Respect other people’s feelings. It might mean nothing to you, but it could mean everything to them.” ― Roy T. Bennett
HOW important is respect? This is the biggest question in marriage and in everyday life, in how we deal with people regardless of stature.
The Family Code’s Article 68 provides that, the husband and wife are obliged to observe mutual love, respect, and fidelity. Of these three, respect could be the hardest to fulfill. You can love a person but sometimes forget to respect him or her, or be loyal to a person but fail to respect him or her to a certain degree.
But what does our law require in marriage? The law requires utmost respect, the highest degree there is.
Too often out of the complacency and familiarity through years of marriage, couples forget the need to respect their spouses, be it space, time or feelings. This is the common source of arguments that branch out to other matters.
Whether newlywed or married for 50 years or more, there should be respect at all times between spouses.
They say as the marriage gets older, the love gets lukewarm. But for as long as there is respect between the spouses, the marriage shall remain steadfast.
Here are three areas that need to be respected in marriage:
Space – The need to respect your spouse’s personal space is important. There are times when you both need to be alone and that is fine. There will be days when your spouse wants to figure things out on his or her own and that’s okay. Allowing your spouse to be his or herself makes the marriage more interesting.
Time – This is a common area of disrespect not just among married people in everyone. Being late is a sign of disrespect. Being inconsiderate of other people’s time is a form of disrespect. To take up much of other people’s time for nonsensical matters is also a sign of disrespect.
This is also true in marriage. Marriage is not an excuse to let the spouse wait, or to disregard his or her time. Always remember: respect whether big or small is not material. Disrespect is disrespect.
Certain Degree of Privacy – Sometimes married people forget of privacy. Yes, this still exists even in marriage – privacy as to work, laptop, phone, and bathroom rituals. Even if you are not doing anything wrong, there should still be a need for privacy.
Suspicion arises when there is a need to feel suspicious about something but the need to respect the privacy of your spouse’s personal matters is still important.
I don’t know how respect is earned actually; because for one, there are those to whom you are kind to but still, they tend to disrespect you. Those you feel deeply concerned about are those who disrespect you the most. Familiarity does sometimes breeds contempt but my take on this is that, strip the person off of whoever he or she is in your life; whether a spouse, father, brother, teacher, friend, waiter, president, mayor or kasambahay, strip them off and see them as your equals. It’s as simple as that./PN
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