[av_one_full first min_height=” vertical_alignment=” space=” custom_margin=” margin=’0px’ padding=’0px’ border=” border_color=” radius=’0px’ background_color=” src=” background_position=’top left’ background_repeat=’no-repeat’ animation=”]
[av_heading heading=’MY LIFE AS ART | Get off the potty!’ tag=’h3′ style=’blockquote modern-quote’ size=” subheading_active=’subheading_below’ subheading_size=’15’ padding=’10’ color=” custom_font=”]
BY PETER SOLIS NERY
[/av_heading]
[av_textblock size=” font_color=” color=”]
Monday, July 3, 2017
[/av_textblock]
[av_textblock size=” font_color=” color=”]
THIS MY column. It really looks like a vanity column because it’s all about me. Just look at the column ID, My Life as Art.
Do you think I write this column for all the people in the world? Hell, no!
I don’t write this for haters. They can suck themselves. Because that’s what haters do.
This column is decidedly for my fans and followers. For those who want to enjoy my wit and sarcasm.
Dark humor, and sexy thoughts.
My horniness, and freedom of thought and expression.
***
Why haters keep reading me, I cannot understand. They are setting themselves up for a heart attack.
Or wrinkled, joyless faces.
I know why my followers and fans keep reading me. That’s why I keep on writing this way.
This column is trashy and escapist. But only if you let it. Because if you really want to pick up something positive from this writing, I bet you can.
There are life philosophies here, even avant garde ideas, that may work for you.
***
At the very least, I open up the discussion about family dynamics and responsibilities, which is still almost a taboo in traditional Ilonggo culture.
I talk about God, and being Other Christs; and about my deep faith in a Benevolent Power.
Occasionally, I write about my advocacies.
Hiligaynon literature, Ilonggo art, and regional culture.
HIV screening, and LGBT rights.
Environmental consciousness, and planetary responsibility, and so on.
***
This column is trashy and escapist, I may agree to that.
Provided that those who call it trashy and escapist admit that they are dumb readers, illiterates, who cannot read through humor, irony, symbolism, and sacrifice.
I bet those idiots do not even know what Sacrifice is as a literary technique.
I mean, if they claim they know, you know they are liars.
Because I just invented it.
And quite simply, Sacrifice means Symbol becoming flesh. The Word, or Words, becoming Peter Solis Nery.
No, not Verbum Dei. (That’s Divine.) But Verbum Nery.
The word of Peter Solis Nery.
The Gospel According to Peter. Third millennium edition.
***
I like to believe that I am not throwing my pearls to the swine. It can happen. But that is not my intention.
I’m only just writing to my sheep, really. My 100 sheep. Okay, maybe 99.
But I’m trying to reach out to the lost one.
Hey, what can I do? I’m a Good Shepherd.
And I’m a Good Samaritan, too.
In fact, I am Good, period.
***
I have a pretty good idea about my newspaper readers and followers. That’s why I resist writing for Philippine newspapers here in the United States.
That’s why I labor writing three times a week for Panay News, the largest regional newspaper in the Philippines.
And three times a week for our sister publication in Hiligaynon, Panay Balita.
That’s why I do not even dare think about writing for a national newspaper in the Philippines. What for?
I got my readership in Panay News, and I’m happy with what I have. I am more than content and satisfied. I’m actually happy writing for my readers.
***
My readers are my friends. Or, at least, that’s how I treat them.
And just like two friends, or five friends, having lunch or coffee, I want their reading experience to be light and easy.
No political views. No religious arguments. No gore and violence. No crimes and scandals.
Wait. That last one, scandal? Strike that out. We like scandals!
When friends meet, they gossip, don’t they?
If you can’t gossip with friends, why even keep friends?
I hate to think that we should only keep friends to support us, and to believe us; but not to believe our gossips. Or worse, not even add to, or spread, our gossips.
That’s no fun!
***
Anyway, back to this column, and my readers and friends.
That’s the reason why this column is light and easy. It’s like a conversation with a friend. A very talkative friend.
Okay, so it may look like a monologue. But does it sound like a monologue?
I mean, it is a monologue if you are a stupid or dumb reader who reacts slowly.
Because, this column is written in sentences. In bits of dialogues.
It’s not even full sentences. It’s for you to react to.
That’s why the spaces! The lots of spaces!
***
I write this column at the risk of being accused of not knowing how to write properly. Of committing grammar errors.
Of writing not complete sentences.
Weak word choices. Unsophisticated vocabulary.
But I’m not writing for grammar Nazis! Or literature professors.
I’m trying to make a conversation with my fans. Err, my friends!
Over coffee. Or while they’re on the potty!
Okay, that last image isn’t so great. But haven’t you talked to a friend over the phone while doing your bathroom rituals?
Now, don’t lie to me!
I know I do. Haha!
***
Of course, most of the stuff I write is nonsensical.
But isn’t that what friendly conversations are all about? You can talk nonsense with friends; and still, everyone has a good time.
I’ll say this again and again. If you want to read me, as in seriously read my serious literary work, buy my books!
This is the newspaper. Something you read while in bed. Or having coffee. Or again, while on the potty!
Or, if you are a New Yorker reading this column online from your smartphone, something you read on the train. Or bus, if you are in L.A. Or streetcar, if you are in San Francisco.
***
That potty image is hard to get off my mind. So, I’ll stop here before we get too deep into sh*t.
You know how friends can truly enjoy and relish fart jokes, and all those yukky stuff.
Stop! You are enjoying me too much.
You are getting too familiar.
I like it! (500tinaga@gmail.com/PN)
[/av_textblock]
[/av_one_full]
