DALMING

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BY ROMA GONZALES

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SCHOOLS are temples of wisdom. Children are sent here with the hope that they gain knowledge, experience and skills, particularly the social one, to prepare them for the bigger adult world. But how safe are our schools really?

Only recently, a distressed parent related the story of how one high schooler had to reportedly transfer school because he was being tormented by his peers for voicing out an honest but unpopular opinion surrounding a controversial sports-related incident in the city. While this parentā€™s children donā€™t go to the same school as the boy, she was unruffled by the thought that schools can be cruel environments.

Young people who used to be full of life can get shushed into loners with low self-esteem, disabling them from reaching their full potential, if they mix into the wrong crowd who makes fun of their pimples or their mispronunciation or for nothing else but mere spite, because kids can be cruel like that. They do not realize yet how words can cut. Their naivety can be dark.

While some make it into adulthood, some can develop post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD, like soldiers who have fought wars), depression, and other psychological issues.

Personally, I know a student who saw a gastroenterologist and a nephrologist because he would call home to be fetched from school almost every day. He complained of stomach cramps, but the specialists could find nothing despite numerous laboratory and diagnostic tests. He was eventually referred to a psychiatrist. The family suspected bullying, but no hard proof of it could be found. As of now, only about a year after, the young man has managed to rise as one of the top academic performers of his class in a new school, and hasnā€™t complained of stomach pain ever since. This shows that given the right environment, children will thrive.

While a universal definition of bullying is not yet established, it is understood as a repeatedly hostile behavior which intends to inflict pain, whether it be physical, mental, or emotional. To what extent our schools can handle it, itā€™s sad that we do not know until it happens.

Our schools should continuously discuss the issue with students and parents with the help of experts like counselors, psychologists and psychiatrists, clearly laying down the short-term and long-term consequences. Policies and sanctions should also be implemented.

Bullying in private schools also seems to be tougher than in the public ones. Children who come from affluent families or those with powerful parents can be ā€œuntouchable.ā€ Teachers can play deaf and blind, and the other child, who is supposed to have equal rights, has no choice but to move away. What a distressing lesson on ā€œLife is unfairā€ and ā€œdog eat dog!ā€

Furthermore, despite having an Anti-Cyberbullying Law, what can we do when those involved are minors?

The most practical and sensible way to curb these damaging, scarring activities lie within the family itself and the institutions. Schools and parents should collaborate to make learning as fun as it can for everyone. Both parties should not be quick to dismiss or to judge incidents, but to bring the children involved into sensitive discussions and meetings. Parents should make the effort of knowing their children’s peers, sitting down with them, and being sensitive if the kids act weird and low or show disinterest in school.

Play is said to be the children’s work. Should schools be their battlefields? Bullying is not a thing to shrug at, thinking kids will ā€œget over it.ā€ The years children spend in schools are their most formative ones. Here they develop not only their mental and physical muscles, but also their confidence, identity, and viewpoints./PN
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