THERE IS always one in every thread. You know the type. The one who snubs joy like it is a sin, who turns your good news into a courtroom drama, and who reads your promotion or your child’s graduation post like it is a personal affront. It does not matter if you post about your dog’s birthday or an overdue beach trip, they will somehow find a way to unearth the hidden toxicity they believe exists. They are not just cynical. They are social media’s unofficial, self-declared Supreme Court, moral guardians, and “truth-tellers.” Except no one asked them.
These kinds of users do not throw shade. They wield eclipse. Their comments often begin with “Just saying,” or “Not to ruin the moment but…,” followed by a barrage of negativity masked as realism. A teacher in Iloilo once posted about her joy in seeing her students finally submit a clean exam. One responder asked, “But were they really learning, or just memorizing?” This is the online equivalent of bringing an umbrella to someone else’s sunshine.
Toxicity in digital spaces has grown like fungus on a neglected wall. According to the American Psychiatric Association (2019), more than a third of US adults believe social media negatively affects mental health. While this study may be Western in context, it resonates with us Filipinos who spend an average of four hours a day on social media, one of the highest globally. Many teachers report being emotionally drained not by their classes, but by what they see during a quick break scroll.
This is not just about trolls or anonymous bots. Often, the most exhausting digital personalities are people we know: colleagues, former classmates, neighbors, even relatives. They cloak their bitterness with intellectual snobbery or performative concern. They turn the comments section into a coliseum, feasting on the blood of sincerity. But make no mistake, these interactions can gnaw at one’s mental health. Like microaggressions, they are tiny stings that leave invisible bruises.
One effective way to deal with such behavior is to limit engagement. Turn off notifications for apps that tempt your attention. Consider uninstalling them during high-stress seasons like exam weeks or grading periods. Rappler, Inquirer, and other media sites suggest minimizing passive browsing. Instead of doomscrolling, actively choose which posts to see, and who to follow. Use social media like a curated reading list, not an emotional minefield.
Setting boundaries may sound like modern buzzwords, but they are survival tools. Use mute, block, and unfollow like seatbelts. These are not rude gestures. They are acts of self-preservation. A university student from Iloilo shared how she muted a former professor who constantly downplayed her academic achievements. “It felt rude at first, but I realized I do not owe anyone access to my peace,” she reflected.
You also do not have to explain your boundaries to everyone. As the insights of licensed therapist Jin Kim suggest, validation from toxic individuals is often fleeting and manipulative. Boundaries are not there to change them. They are there to protect you. Quietly disengage. Not every battle is worth the bandwidth. (To be continued)/PN
