I DON’T normally wear a manicure.
And if I get a pedicure, it can be once a year, or once every two years.
I cut my own nails— fingers and toes.
I hardly call those nail-trimming sessions manicure and pedicure.
***
Since arriving in the Philippines in July, I had exactly two manicures and pedicures in five months.
These are proper procedures done by professionals.
My first mani-pedi was in August after feeling that I haven’t had a manicure and pedicure for almost three years of the pandemic.
It was an ordinary mani-pedi.
Including tips, I probably paid P250 for them.
***
At that time, I was staying with a friend because he had depression.
Or so he claimed.
And he said that my presence has a calming effect that is giving him more restful sleep.
In fact, he was complaining of insomnia weeks before I arrived.
I felt comfortable staying with this friend for a while.
He cooked; I washed the dishes.
***
So yeah, the day I had a manicure, I ruined it at night when I washed the plates.
Because I have a little obsessive-compulsive disorder, I scrubbed the pots and casseroles after washing the dishes.
The steel wool totally scratched my newly polished nails.
***
My friend was trying to be nice. “Why do you have to wash the dishes?”
And I’m thinking, “Because the dishes won’t clean themselves!”
But I just said, “Ah, dishwashing is the stress reliever of rich people like myself.”
I even justified my statement by explaining that the repetitive motion of such a mundane chore relaxes the mind.
Of course, I also said, “You should try it sometime. Aside from making your kitchen look orderly, dishwashing would also relieve you of anxiety and depression.”
***
The second mani-pedi was a little more complicated.
It was late November.
I was gearing up for my red carpet appearance at the Palanca Awards.
My glam team advised me to go for the gel nails.
A little more expensive, but a little more long-lasting (because sturdier), and a lot shinier or classier looking.
Of course, I bit the bait to pay for the premium.
All in all, I spent P500 including tips.
***
I’m still wearing my gel nails.
My nails are growing fast, and you can see the new growth layer, but I’m not having them painted or retouched anytime soon.
I mean, Why?
I’m a farm boy.
And unless I’m going to perform, or be in the public eye for something as big as the Palanca, I’m keeping my nails as raw as they are.
(Or as polished as they are right now.)
***
I do not know if I like my men/boys manicured.
I admire people with manicured hands, but I sometimes find them so gay in some people.
I got beautiful hands; I really believe that.
I got them so beautiful that they don’t need manicures.
Although, I will not argue against the utter beauty of my hands with my nails gel-manicured.
***
I don’t mind wasting my time sitting on a chair having my nails done either.
Most of the time, I get great gossip.
It’s also a good break from my phone as far as I am concerned.
***
What I can’t afford is making manicure a weekly habit.
Or even a fortnightly affair.
Monthly? Well, maybe not even that if I can help it.
I mean, I would rather pay P600 for an hour massage (including tip) than get my nails done.
***
Oh, but to own my beautiful hands.
And to have gel painted nails.
And to have them in any color I want!
***
So yeah, thank you for the next sponsor of my manicure and pedicure.
I mean, it’s Christmas time, and my birthday is coming up.
If you are treating me to a nails spa, I wouldn’t say No.
I can only be humbled, and say, “Thank you, and may God repay your generosity and kindness!”/PN
