Peter, the Rock

OR, YOU can say, Peter, the stone.

These days, I carry stones.

A good size about 3/4 of my fist.

I carry it over long distances.

To wherever my legs take me.

***

Remember my concealed dumbbells?

I still do that when I run in, and around, the town plaza.

But because of our town festival, I stay away from the crowded plaza.

Just too many Covid “possible” people.

***

Remember my cane like Moses’?

Well, it’s being borrowed for props in the Town Fiesta Queen coronation pageant.

I have a special cameo, and my part/character will be using a wand.

My cane is perfectly sized so it was bedecked with so many stuff that will be a big surprise at the night of my performance.

***

The coronation pageant is part of the town festival.

Sadly, because of the typhoons, it was already postponed twice.

Do not start with me about who is jinxing the production.

I can assure you that it is not me.

Only good things have happened (to me especially) since I came home.

***

Anyway, back to my stone.

No, it’s not “Ding, ang bato!” kind of stone.

It’s “Ouch, what hit me?” kind of stone.

And it is Peter Solis Nery who hit you, you, moron!

Because why would you even come close to a crazy man?

***

About two weeks ago, a woman, 63, was run over by a truck in my hometown.

Right on the busy street in front of my mall-ish building in Dumangas.

The victim was a government employee.

Note the ‘was’.

She died within the day of the accident.

The truck was a government vehicle. 

***

I’m not a good Maritess.

But I heard texting or attention to the phone was involved.

Was the victim texting?

Was the driver of the government truck texting and driving?

Who wasn’t paying attention?

***

At this point, I do not care whose fault it is. 

I’ll just say outright: If you are driving a car, the foot passenger is always right.

In a heavy traffic area, pardon me, idiots, but you slow down.

I don’t care if you drive half a kilometer per hour, I don’t care if you move slower than an elephant, but you keep your eye on the passengers on the road.

You keep them alive!

***

Not all foot passengers are smart.

Some of them are complete morons.

They are not all smart like me who would wear a neon shirt to catch attention.

Or would carry stones to throw at your windshields if you come within 3 meters of me.  

***

I mean, sure you may run me over, and kill me.

But I’m gonna dent your car.

I’m gonna break your glass windshield.

Or, if you are an e-bike driver, a motorcycle driver, a biker, I’m going to aim at your face, you numbskull!

***

This country has gone to the stupids.

We already know that.

And I can do the other route of the high and mighty.

I can drive my car, and hit helpless foot passengers.

I can pollute my way to exit.

But I refuse to be that monster.

***

I’d rather be a walker.

A bad boy walker.

Someone who hits stupid teenagers with his sharp elbows and concealed dumbbells.

Someone who carries stones, and throws them at Goliaths, and reckless drivers. 

***

Here’s the thing: when you are a walker in this country, you face a lot of dangers.

You take a lot of risks being a pedestrian.

But no one is going to scare me out of walking.

I’ll carry my canes, I’ll carry my dumbbells, I’ll carry my stones.

And God help me if I do not throw them to drivers who try to scare me with loud vroom-vrooms.

***

I say, nothing scares me.

But if you surprise me, I can break your head or your windshield, and plead instinctive reflex.

If that defense doesn’t work, I can always plead insanity.

Because I am Peter, I am the Rock.

Nobody scares me off the road!/PN