(Conclusion)
ON THE conclusion of my article about empty nest syndrome, Wooll explains that a single parent will experience the feelings of loneliness and confusion more acutely when a child leaves home since the single parent must confront all of it on her own without the other parent.
Interestingly, “Since 90% of single parents are women, it is more likely that a mother will experience heightened symptoms of empty nest syndrome.” This should make a lot of sense to women who are single parents. Wonder no more!
Ideas to manage empty nest syndrome
Quoting from the same article, I hope these ideas are helpful:
* Make social connections – Reconnect with old friends. Explore social spaces that offer new connections. “Investing in friendships is a healthy distraction, and it alleviates feelings of loneliness;”
* Seek professional help if needed. Don’t take your grief for granted, avail of therapies. Don’t be ashamed to seek professional help. Your mental health is primary.
* Set goals for the future. It’s time to develop your authentic identity now that the kids are on their own. Reinvent yourself.
* Take up a new hobby or career – Need I say more? Learn dancing, singing, public speaking, writing, anything that inspires you. Start a freelance career to boost your self-confidence or join an advocacy.
* Reconnect with your partner – If you’re one of those with a partner, consider spending quality time together and bring back the spark to your relationship.
* Practice self-care or self-love.
* Focus on the positives. I know this is easier said than done but we must do it. If professional help is needed, seek one.
* Stay connected with your children.
Meanwhile, in another article, Empty Nest Syndrome, from psychcentral.com/health/empty-nest-syndrome, the following are cited as other symptoms that at first you might identify as empty nest syndrome:
* Restlessness – You may not be able to focus like you used to.
* Loneliness – You may have a partner, friends, and co-workers, but you still feel lonely.
* Irritability – You easily snap over something that’s not important. Don’t we empty nesters, huh! It’s not really about them; it’s about you. You may be frustrated that you feel as if you can’t seem to control anything.
* Languishing – I must say I find this interesting and one I need to explore as a writer. You don’t exactly feel bad, but something feels off. You have less energy and less motivation to do the things you used to do.
* Re-examining roles and relationship.
And like Wooll’s article, the second article identified the following activities to cope with empty nest syndrome:
* Laughing more by telling stories and watching movies together.
* Discovering your values by reexamining what matters to you in life.
* Getting to know your (now adult) kids. Finding new ways to communicate with your kids can be mutually beneficial.
* Exercising regularly. Exercise can perk up your spirits. ResearchTrusted Source shows it may improve your life satisfaction and your ability to perform daily activities as you age.
* Investing in yourself. There are diverse ways. Start a new business or hobby? Go on a long-delayed vacation? Spend time with family and friends?
* Practicing self-care. Taking care of yourself is important. Enjoy yourself. Get massages. Go dancing. Sing. Write. Whatever it takes to restore your mind, body, and soul, being an empty nester can provide the time.
Remember, empty nest syndrome is a normal life phase akin to the never-ending cycle of beginning a relationship and ending it. You are not alone in the journey. Other parents like you are feeling the same sense of loss. Take comfort in that.
Life indeed is characterized by seasons. You can revisit your journey and assess which season you are in right now. It doesn’t matter how old you are. Youth itself is a season.
And like I always mentioned in my previous articles, do not be pressured by people, even family, to “snap out of it.” Everyone has her own journey.
Grief takes time. But you will get there soon.
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Food for Thought:
Empty nest is not just about the loud quiet. It’s about being at the center of your own life where your kids used to be. You’ll be encouraged to embrace your freedom, go back to school, volunteer, but come first again is not as easy as it sounds. It feels like wearing shoes on the wrong feet. – Susan Bonifant
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The writer hosts Woman Talk with Belinda Sales at 91.1 Balita FM Tagbilaran City every Saturday, 4 p.m. to 5 p.m. She can be reached at Belindabelsales@gmail.com. Twitter @ShilohRuthie/PN
