BY PROF. ENRIQUE SORIANO
“Siblings are our partners and rivals, our first friends, and our first enemies.” – Dr. Erica Goldblatt Hyatt
IN A PREVIOUS article, we recognized sibling rivalry as one of the several “unhealthy” indicators common to all family businesses. Any sibling rivalry usually surfaces with so much negative energy when the leader dies.
Unless the family and business systems are separated with very well-defined rules and roles reinforced with a clear and agreed-upon accountability process, conflict and hostility are not far behind.
If you want your children to co-exist in the family business and play an important role in maintaining a healthy balance between family and work, you need to emphasize the importance of establishing healthy sibling relationships early on.
“Parents should be thinking about this years in advance – well before they ask their children to enter the family business,” acclaimed Northeastern University professor of applied psychology Laurie Kramer says.
In a well-written article by Jonas Ruzek and Kimberly Eddleston, “How Family Firms Can Prevent (or Cool Down) Sibling Rivalries,” the authors emphasized the need for parents to cultivate sibling relationships early.
They added, “Experts say that in order to prevent fallouts between siblings that hurt the family and the business, parents should start teaching their children relationship management skills as early as possible. Unlike other relationships in life, we do not choose our siblings, which makes for a unique dynamic.”
In the same article, Dr. Kramer pointed out, “Brothers and sisters can withstand far more negativity and behavior than our friends or co-workers.”
Thus, when siblings learn how to relate positively to one another and manage conflict effectively, they not only benefit from healthy, supportive sibling relationships but also learn to develop productive relationships throughout their lives.
Generally, a healthy enterprise with aligned siblings is one that is united, mindful of their responsibilities, constructive, open, and enjoys making money together. And yes, there exists healthy disagreements, but when it comes to final judgments, the family members tend to work around a consensus type of decision-making.
There is also less tension because there is an atmosphere of trust and respect for one another’s abilities and knowledge. (To be continued)/PN
