BY AIZA DELA CRUZ
PEOPLE would often express their pity, sadness, and sympathy to me when they knew that my son is autistic. I got surprised by their reactions because I don’t think that my son is pitiful.
When we received his formal diagnosis, I admit that I “grieved”. I grieved over my own expectations about having a child and being a parent, not because he is autistic. I did not feel devastated with his diagnosis. It actually hurts me more when people would say there is something wrong with my son, because I don’t see anything wrong in him. I see him just like any other child. So, I tell other people that my son is alright and we are doing well.
Despite having delays in his emotional development due to autism, my son has a cheery and loving disposition. Every day, he would affectionately hug and cling to us. He would hug us when he is happy, when he is feeling down, when he is watching his favorite shows, and when he is sleeping. He won’t sleep unless he is not hugging me or my husband.
My son would show happiness even in the smallest and most mundane things like eating eggs, playing with water, picking flowers, looking at the leaves swaying when the wind blows, or when his father comes home from work. He would even dance and hum a song when he gets his favorite treat of chocolate.
His cheerfulness is a blessing to us as it is not always sunshine and rainbows in “adultville”. He always wakes up happy, and starts the day full of energy and playfulness. He would turn on all the lights in the bedroom and start jumping while singing on the other bed, which was supposed to be his own bed but became his trampoline. His eagerness is infectious as our sleepiness and weariness would be washed away by his smiles and laughter. He would surprise us with a new song, quirky dance moves, a different play, or a new mischievous prank. We can’t get angry at a happy child.
And there are times when he would melt our hearts with his kindness and unprejudiced view of things and people. He would share his food with us, even hand-feed us. If he wakes up earlier than usual and I tell him not to disturb me as I want to sleep longer, he would considerately just sits nearby, watches shows, and waits for me to wake up. He would go up to random people and touch them or interact with them. He would hug his nanny and kiss her for no reason at all.
Being autistic, my son has no sense of danger. He is quite daring and bold, like an explorer raring for an adventure. It is his being undaunted that surprised us of his progress in our goal to make him an independent child. He started out not being able to talk to startling us with his witty comebacks when we reprimand him. He taught himself how to swim by just looking at people swimming in the pool. He taught himself to count by twos, fives, tens, and hundreds, when I only taught him to count up to 10. He can recite the ABCs backwards, and make his own categories of alphabet words, when I only taught him the ABC song. He learned to deftly use a drawing application on his iPad when his father only taught him the basics. He taught himself to read from the phonetics I taught him. He learned how to write by observing how I write, as he doesn’t like it when we hold his hand and guide him when writing. And there are still so much more that he has learned without us teaching him.
Now, he can go to the toilet, wash hands, brush teeth, dress up, take a bath, clean after himself, pack up toys, follow his schedule, and get his own food, all by himself. He can follow our instructions and decides for himself when given choices. His development and the skills he acquired as he grows amazed us. There is always something new to be happily surprised at with our son. Our life is full of surprises, as cliché as it may sound, because of him.
Because of the joy that our son has brought into our lives, my husband and I have aimed to do our best to protect him from discrimination and prejudice by advocating awareness on autism.
I would like to share this quote of Agatha Christie: “A mother’s love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity; it dares all things and crushes down remorselessly all that stands in its path.”
I enjoin everyone to have more compassion and understanding for all children with special needs.
I would also like to hear the experiences of other parents who have children on the autism spectrum. You may email me on genevieveaiza.delacruz@gmail.com. I am a member of the Autism Society Philippines, a national non-profit organization dedicated to the well-being of persons on the autism spectrum disorder./PN
