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BY PETER SOLIS NERY
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Monday, March 5, 2018
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I’M NOT a serious foodie. I don’t drive 30 kilometers to check out a dish.
Unlike my crazy friends in the US, I won’t drive an hour to satisfy a dessert craving.
I’m a scavenger. I finish leftovers. I empty the ref.
But occasionally, especially in Iloilo, I pretend to be a foodie.
And I relive my days as a restaurant reviewer for a newspaper in the first years of the new millennium.
*
What’s a restaurant reviewer?
I guess, it’s what food bloggers do nowadays.
But in 2000, I just stole my concept of it from Julia Roberts’ role in “My Best Friend’s Wedding”. Instead of just having their logos in the classified ads section of my newspaper, I interested the restaurant owners to actually have reviews of their food and place written by me. And published.
*
The arrangement was simple. I go to their restaurant, they feed me with their best dishes, I look at their presentation, see if anything was off, and write about the good things.
After all, they are paying advertisers.
But occasionally, I would throw in some serious critique. Like, the decor is too glaring. Or, the binagoongan could use a little more shrimp paste.
But usually, I would just endorse my favorite dishes.
If they want me to promote their other dishes, I told them, they can invite me again to their restaurant to food taste.
*
I’ve only heard of buko batchoy last year. My entourage from Dumangas (usually a driver, a makeup artist, my personal assistant, and occasionally, a photographer) wanted to try it. So we looked for the place in the Mandurriao public market, behind the police station.
I ordered the famous buko batchoy, winner of the Best Fusion Dish awarded by ChoosePhilippines in 2016. Just to check it off my bucket list.
*
The second time I went there was because my friend Ronelo wanted to introduce me to the owners Larry and Primrose.
Since I already had the buko batchoy, I ordered the buko Molo this time. Yes, it’s pancit Molo with buko, and also served in the young coconut shell. I liked it.
Primrose, the chef, asked me what I liked about it, and why I liked it better than buko batchoy.
She liked the words I used to describe what exactly I tasted. In fact, she liked my words so much she called my buko Molo on the house.
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I became fast friends with Larry and Primrose. But I returned to America so I didn’t really have a lot of their buko batchoy. Or buko Molo, for that matter.
When I announced that I will be coming home to Iloilo to attend the 50th running of Dinagyang this year, Larry asked me if I’d be interested to join the Sponsors’ Mardi Gras Parade after the Kasadyahan.
I thought it was just the traditional sadsad so I said yes.
He asked for my photo. Since I didn’t understand what it was for, I told him to just grab one from my Facebook wall.
*
Actually, I also said yes to the parade, and felt obligated to make good on my word because they promised to attend my Dinagyang show. Which they did.
I arrived in Iloilo on Thursday night; I had my show concert on Friday night (which was a great success, if I have to say so myself); and on Saturday afternoon, I danced my way through the Sponsors’ Mardi Gras.
*
How can I not?
The resto’s group at the parade had a float with two Ilonggo beauties: a Miss Paraw Regatta (Vanessa Tse Wing), and a Mutya ng Iloilo (Colleen Chan). On both sides of the float were tarps with their photos in gowns and crowns; and, like an inset, mine.
Larry has used the now iconic picture of me in a pink suit. I think it’s a 10-year-old photo, but it’s my Facebook profile picture in like forever.
Under my photo was inscribed “Peter Solis Nery, Palanca Hall of Famer.”
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They asked me if I’d care to join the beautiful ladies on the float. I said, no. I’d rather dance on the streets as part of the parade.
I knew I have no business competing against beauty title holders for attention on a float, and in a parade like that.
But I knew how to draw attention to myself. I grabbed the resto’s “I ‘heart’” placard and joined the parade dancing my heart out.
*
Because I was so freaking sexy in my hot pink knitted hoodie (naked inside, showing off my babybutt smooth, fair-complexioned chest), and torn jeans, I was stopped several times for selfies during the short parade from the Freedom Grandstand to the Provincial Capitol.
I was also stopped many times by people, tourists mainly, asking about buko batchoy.
So, yeah. I felt I just became the celebrity product endorser.
If I wasn’t already.
I told Larry and Primrose that for my participation in the parade, I deserved a free meal of buko Molo. (To be continued/PN)
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