IN a world often swept away by fleeting romances and the lure of instant gratification, the intimate journey of self-love stands as a quiet yet powerful beacon.
Understanding and prioritizing self-love is not merely a passing trend. It is an essential foundation for building meaningful relationships and living a fulfilled life. Regardless of one’s status—single by choice, in a relationship, married, or never having experienced romance—self-love remains vital.
Marriage is not for everyone
For Maria Yvette Andion, 56, a campus minister turned advocate of self-love, the journey has been deeply personal and transformative.
Now a government employee and educator in Roxas City for nearly 15 years, Andion has never married and has no children. Yet she describes her life as content and purposeful.
“Falling in love is a normal phenomenon, especially for teenagers. I, too, felt the sting of attraction when I was young. However, I was guided by a principal mantra: ‘Don’t let your heart rule over your head,’” Andion shared.
Navigating her emotions became challenging as she remained devoted to what she described as a higher calling. The tension between romantic love and spiritual purpose led her to realize that self-love and commitment to God are deeply intertwined.
“I realized that choosing to belong to God was my true consolation,” she said.
For Andion, love is not confined to romantic relationships. It can also be rooted in spiritual fulfillment.
“I knew deep in my heart that marriage is not for me. The search for meaning in life was a must. The journey to self-love is a choice to commit to living simply and single-heartedly. I’m single, yet happy and fulfilled,” she added.
During her college years, Andion became involved in youth ministry and worked closely with seminarians. The experience placed her in what she described as a “crisis of faith,” as she struggled between romantic desires and her spiritual vocation.
“Engaging in a romantic relationship while seeking a life devoted to God felt like a crisis,” she recalled.
Through prayer and participation in the Eucharist, she eventually found clarity in her purpose and embraced a diocesan lay life. She learned that true fulfillment lies in friendship, faith, and a strong relationship with oneself.
“Loving oneself is crucial before opening oneself to others,” Andion emphasized, noting that self-acceptance is key to emotional maturity.
Her commitment to self-love, she said, freed her from societal expectations and conventional pressures.
“There are no regrets in choosing self-love for the Kingdom. It’s an all-embracing choice to cultivate love and be a light in the world,” she reflected.
Self-love as the foundation of healthy relationships
For 25-year-old writer Rhea Marielen Teodoro of Iloilo, self-love became clearer through a different journey.
Teodoro, who works as a writer and secretary for a Manila-based publishing company, was labeled “No Boyfriend Since Birth” (NBSB) for nearly 24 years before entering her first relationship. The experience deepened her understanding of self-worth.
“It’s important to love yourself because it helps you prepare every aspect of yourself before accepting someone into your life,” she said. “You’re loving someone while loving yourself. A relationship should never be a reason to love yourself less. The person you welcome into your life should help you love yourself even more.”
She stressed that one cannot fully give love without first learning to value oneself.
“I cannot be good enough to someone if I never learned to put myself first. In order to love someone, learn to love and be kind to yourself. Treat yourself the way you want to be treated,” she said.
Reflecting on her journey, Teodoro shared how her initial fear of relationships transformed into a meaningful experience once she learned to embrace her own growth. Through community service and personal development, she discovered that fulfillment comes from within.
Embracing self-love in modern society
In a society that often confuses attachment with love, both women believe self-awareness is more important than ever.
“The source of love is God, who nurtures and sustains us through this rollercoaster called life,” Andion said.
Teodoro, meanwhile, shared that serving in church helped her grow spiritually and personally.
“When you’re busy doing something that makes you happy, you realize that this is the kind of satisfaction you truly need. You don’t look for attention or validation from others because you are surrounded by love and good people,” she said.
A message for the younger generation
As Valentine’s Day is celebrated, Andion offers simple but profound advice to young people:
“Learn the art of love by being gentle with yourself. Accept the exhilaration of infatuation, but remember that true love is a commitment that navigates life’s ups and downs.”
She emphasized patience, noting that genuine love blossoms at the right time and is marked by sacrifice and mutual growth.
Teodoro echoed the call for self-discovery.
“It’s important to know yourself first. Discover yourself and make yourself full of love and contentment. In order to be enough and deserving for someone, you must first be enough for yourself,” she said. “Always look for a love that sustains your well-being—love that is kind, inspires growth, brings you closer to God, and provides peace.”
As the season of hearts unfolds, their stories serve as a reminder that self-love is not selfishness. It is a necessary beginning.
By embracing self-discovery and nurturing inner peace, we not only strengthen ourselves but also create healthier, more meaningful connections with others. In doing so, we illuminate a path of compassion, understanding, and genuine affection — a love that begins within and radiates outward./PN
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Maria Yvette Andion, 56, a campus minister and advocate of self-love, has never married and has no children. She describes her life as fulfilling and purposeful, demonstrating that happiness and contentment come from within.
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