I HAD a good talk with a psychologist Wednesday afternoon. We spoke about relationships – broken relationships in particular.
Normally, men jump into another relationship immediately after a breakup because it’s “their way of coping,” she says. It’s their rebound response. Well, I guess it’s the easiest way.
We also spoke about how other people prefer to silence you when you’re angry after a distinct feeling of betrayal even when the expression of anger itself is a healthy outlet. You see, if you keep your anger bottled, you will end up getting sick. It doesn’t do you any good.
Thus, my advice, don’t listen to anyone who tells you to just keep quiet when you’re angry especially if you’re the one wronged. Express it! Let him know your anger. You have the right to express it and he should know it.
On lying, well, some people including men have the propensity to lie. They live double lives. Lying is ingrained in their system and as a result, their lies become part and parcel of their lives. I would say they are sick.
Watch out for this type of men. Their lying forms part of their whole persona. It’s second nature to them and I’m afraid there’s nothing you can do about it.
And there are also men who do not have the spine, the gumption, and backbone. These are the cowards who pride themselves as logical and reasonable. Truth be told, they are only logical and reasonable if the situation benefits them. Straight talk, these men are selfish. When confronted with the opposite choice, they straightaway find an excuse to extricate themselves from the situation.
Now, if you happen to have broken up with a guy who manifests the behavior I have discussed above, I congratulate you for having the audacity to initiate the breakup. This guy doesn’t deserve you at all.
Here’s a message that someone shared with me:
“Dear Xxxxx,
I would have addressed you (“licensed profession”) but looking at the present state of things – how crappy the situation has become, I have lost respect for you.
First, why would you let me know about your ______ escapades? Don’t you have any honor left in your bones?
Second, given all the names of ______ and _____ that you have been to even before June this year, I would presume that you have been lying to me all this time.
Goodness, Xxxxxx! Don’t you have any respect and honor left for yourself?
Third, I don’t want to go back to the messiness of the past six months – too toxic – but remember that your lack of spine, lack of gumption, and cowardice stood out by not granting my request as I initiated the parting of ways. It was a simple request, but you couldn’t even do it.
But disrespecting me by letting me see your xxxxx life is just way below the belt. Again, don’t you have any honor left for yourself?
Is that your way of making it crystal clear to me that you are in a xxxxxx relationship with another woman?
Because if that is your way, then you are a certified as_hole and you deserve whoever is in your life right now.
Your friend is right, I should say, “good riddance” to you.
You have unraveled in the worst conceivable way and I’m sorry for you.”
***
On my father’s death anniversary, Dec. 14, this year, here’s what I wrote for him:
Papa passed away on December 14, 2009.
The loss of my mother on October 4, 2001, brought me indescribable sadness, carved a void in my heart. A literal void I could almost touch.
When Papa passed, I felt rootless. Like I lost my foundation, floating.
Losing both parents changes our lives forever. We will always feel the longing and sadness of our deep loss. This is the reason why over the years, I visit memorial parks even if my parents were not buried in General Santos City. It’s my way of reconnecting to them.
I miss you, Pa.
I know I’m your rebel daughter but I’m sure as hell you’re proud of me, too.
I love you.
***
Food for Thought
For I have satiated the weary soul, and I have replenished every sorrowful soul. Upon this I awaked, and beheld; and my sleep was sweet unto me. – Jeremiah 31:25-26
*** Writer can be reached at belindabelsales@gmail.com. Twitter @ShilohRuthie./PN
