THIS IS ONE of those unique life experiences that anyone can relate to. You grew up together in the same neighborhood as kids, but didn’t become quite close. This was before I attended elementary school until Grade II, and then we moved to a nearby street — Graham Avenue — while our permanent house in Taloto was being completed.
The neighborhood I meant is Tabaco Street in Cogon, Tagbilaran City, where many kids used the short street as our playground. My parents rented the Dumaluan Apartments — first on the ground floor, until we transferred to the second floor. Children gathered on the calzada and spent their afternoons playing various games and mastering countless pranks! I learned so many pranks and games in Tabaco. I even played several practical jokes on children and adults alike, much to their chagrin. Oh, the joy of childhood, where you can almost get away with anything! The short calle ended at the Cogon public market, which featured a huge Balete tree and a cave that, over the years, became an urban legend.
In high school, our paths crossed again. We became fast friends because of our Tabaco connection. Although high school was enjoyable and a place where I learned a lot of mischief, including cutting classes because physics was too difficult to grasp, my most memorable experiences with Christopher were when we campaigned together for my father’s aspirations to become a board member for the province of Bohol. I was tapped to lead the youth arm of the campaign, and Christopher, along with high school classmates like Maria Theresa Cabido, Juanita Lubiano, Sylvia Garsuta — we just graduated from college, and many more young people, joined us. Christopher stayed at our Taloto house throughout the campaign. It was the best of times! Papa won, and Christopher served as part of his staff.
Then we lost touch; life happened. Life has a way of disconnecting and connecting people. These were the intervening years when individuals worked their asses off to make a living, survived, and thrived.
Fast forward to 2001.
I was pleasantly surprised to see his brother, David Bernasor, at the General Santos City Airport. We were both shocked to see each other. Who would have thought the Tabaco kids would serendipitously meet at an airport miles away from Tagbilaran City? I learned that Christopher had lived in Isulan, Sultan Kudarat, for years! What a revelation!
I contacted him, and we renewed our friendship. We had an activity in Isulan when he facilitated my role as a judge in their school’s beauty pageant competition. At the time, he was teaching at the Montessori School of Isulan. He also visited me at my house in General Santos City.
Since then, we have maintained an intermittent connection, much like telecommunications! I remember asking another friend, Emcy Ingking Ytol, if Christopher could stay with her while he looked for a job in Cebu City. He resided with Emcy and her family, and whenever I visited Cebu, the three of us would go out and listen to music.
After Papa’s wake and burial in December 2009, Christopher visited me. He said he had sensed a premonition, which was confirmed when he, upon visiting Bohol, learned that Papa had passed. I remember telling him, “You could have come earlier to bid Papa goodbye.”
After that, he stayed in Bohol for a while and opened an eatery in Tabaco where we spent time together. At that time, I worked in Cebu City, so it was easy to visit Bohol on weekends. Then, we lost touch again when he began farming in Pilar, Bohol. I didn’t see him for a long time.
In the intervening years, I remember communicating with his elder sister, Nang Grace Fe Bernasor Orillos, to ask about Chris’ whereabouts.
Suddenly, during the COVID-19 pandemic, he called me. We spoke for hours on the phone, where he shared stories about the difficulties he encountered because of the pandemic. I was glad he reconnected. With a new Facebook account, our connection became more consistent. I added his new account to our high school batch’s chat room so he could join the conversation.
From there, the classmates planned a December 2023 batch reunion, and by December, I finally saw Christopher again after a decade! But when I saw him, there was a palpable loneliness about him that I couldn’t quite fathom. I mentioned this to another classmate, Sylvia, and even asked her to check on Christopher as well.
I brought him to a restaurant by the Abatan River and hosted a simple New Year’s Eve dinner at home. Throughout these moments, I couldn’t shake the feeling that there was a hidden sadness behind his eyes. Still, I chose not to bring it up, wanting to keep the atmosphere light and joyful.
When he returned to Cebu City, I followed up on him. I tried to persuade him to come home to Bohol. I reinforced his plan to leave his job and resettle in Bohol. He filed his resignation in February 2024 but had to serve another thirty days as part of the company policy. He explained that his service was extended due to a lack of replacement. Sadly, his plan to come home was interrupted by a mild stroke. We checked in on him and followed through until he completed his therapy. But he didn’t come home after that. I didn’t press the issue any further.
By November 2024, we agreed to meet in Bohol for his mother’s death anniversary, but he changed his plan. Instead, we arranged to meet in Cagayan de Oro City for Emcy’s birthday. Unfortunately, he backed out for health reasons.
Last week, Nong Jess Bernasor, his older brother, called me up while I was parking the car to inform me that Chris was in Bohol but was confined in the ICU. I couldn’t process the information because it was shocking. The following day, Jess called me again to say Chris had passed away.
The circumstances are bizarre. He came home for a break, but just over a day later, he was gone. It’s hard to wrap your head around that. The only comfort is that he returned on his own terms, hugged Jess one last time, allowed his family to see him, and then bid farewell to all of us. He made it easier for his family to arrange his wake, mourn for him, and send him off to his final resting place.
Goodbye, Christopher. Thank you for the random communication and steadfast friendship. Thank you for reminding me that life is fleeting.
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The writer hosts Woman Talk with Belinda Sales every Saturday, 10 a.m., at 91.1 Balita FM Tagbilaran City. Email at belindabelsales@gmail.com. X @ShilohRuthie./PN
