TWO consecutive Sundays pretty much defined my social media life this merry month of May.
May 9, of course, was Mother’s Day.
May 16 was Miss Universe 2020 coronation pageant night in Hollywood, Florida.
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Everybody was expected to post some feel good message to and for their mom on Mother’s Day.
I greeted my mom privately so I could shitpost on Facebook.
It’s my way of subverting presumptions.
Or fulfilling expectations.
Depending on your point of view.
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I’m pretty happy with the reactions to my Mother’s Day posts.
And although I don’t base my happiness on my audience, it does really make me feel good to be hitting the right buttons.
Wickedly, I like eliciting hypertension and anxiety attacks among my readers.
But I also enjoy when I get all the Haha emojis.
I’m also a comedian, remember that!
***
These days, my campaign is to expand my reader’s perspective.
If I am to be a really good writer, I tell myself, I must bring my readers to points of view that they don’t normally see.
And so, here are my posts based on the real, and the imagined, to celebrate Mother’s Day.
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Happy Mother’s Day sa pakialamerang mga ina.
Thirty-two years old na po ang mga anak ninyo.
May sariling familia na.
Let them go!
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Sa mga away-bati sa Nanay nila, you don’t have to LIKE her to LOVE her.
Love is the lemon; like, the lemonade.
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Happy Mother’s Day rin sa mga inang dakdak nang dakdak.
‘Wag sana kayong maubusan ng laway.
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Sa mga walang ina, it’s OK.
Calm down.
The day is not for you.
It’s for MOTHERS — living or dead; biological or otherwise.
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Mother’s Day —
‘Yong ipinagluto mo ng almusal ang Nanay mo.
Tapos, sunog ‘yong itlog!
(Mother ‘eggs’ best!)
***
Happy Mother’s Day sa mga inang maglalaba at magluluto uli bukas.
Ilang oras na lang po, balik-Nanay duties na kayo.
***
Ayan, Nay.
Nag-Mother’s Day-Mother’s Day off ka pa kasi kahapon.
Tumambak tuloy ang mga labahin.
Simulan mo na po.
Now na!
***
I’m no longer a Miss Universe fan.
But it’s hard not to get involved when an Ilongga is representing the country.
And to hear rumors that the national government didn’t give full support to her.
I watched the Miss Universe pageant, and cheered for Miss Philippines because I am a Filipino.
***
I know that the loss was a hard blow to pageant fanatics.
And I tried to make light of the situation after the Top Ten was announced.
If some bitterness crept in, it was because it deserved to be said.
But I have totally moved on, even if I noticed that Miss India was the only Asian in the Five Finalists.
***
Next time kasi, ‘wag munang i-bash bago pa man matalo.
Support muna kasi.
Ngayon, puede na.
Bash all you can, losers!
***
Wait, baka kasi inisip ng all-women judges…
…na Miss India si Rabiya!
Just a thought before the night is over.
***
I don’t know kung nagtitipid lang, pero walang baklang judges, at walang lalaking sex maniacs.
See what happens?
***
Ay, may age requirement pala sa Miss Universe application.
Akala ko, good moral character lang, pasok na ako!
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And then, also sometime in May, there’s this series on Toxicity.
I composed them with colorful backgrounds of blue, yellow, black, and red, respectively.
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Social media can be your friend.
That’s why stressful s’ya.
Di siya totoong friend kung hindi s’ya toxic sometimes.
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Kung hindi toxic ang friends mo, malamang ginagamit mo lang sila.
Their toxicity is a value indicator.
It means you care a lot.
***
Gago!
‘Wag mo namang lunukin lahat ng toxicity.
Learn HOW and WHEN to disengage.
Dumistancia ka rin, amigo!
*
I love toxic people.
Indicator din sila na nakalalamang at nakaaangat ako sa mundong ito.
***
These four panels looked pretty together, side by side.
And that’s when I said,
“Makulay ang mundo dahil sa mga toxic na tao!” — #ThePSN/PN
