MY LIFE AS ART

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[av_heading heading=’Finding Prince Charming ‘ tag=’h3′ style=’blockquote modern-quote’ size=” subheading_active=’subheading_below’ subheading_size=’15’ padding=’10’ color=” custom_font=”]

BY PETER SOLIS NERY

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DEAR Future BF,
I’m crossing the sea to lecture on writing in Bacolod City today. I wish you were already with me. In addition to writing, teaching others how to write creatively has become a passion for me. It is something you must understand and embrace. I don’t expect you to be an artist and teacher like me, but I want you to be prepared for a life with an artist and teacher. These are some of the most thankless jobs in this country. But we don’t have to deal with the poverty that comes with these professions. We can live a little more comfortably than most, if you are not financially abusive. What can I say? I’m not as poor as I used to be.
Dear Potential BF,
I thought I already gave you my number to use while I’m in the Philippines. Anyway, it’s 0915-093-7100. Feel free to text or call me anytime you want. Do you already have your passport? Because I really want to have a nice traveling companion for a Southeast Asian trip next month. Think Vietnam, Cambodia, Thailand, etc. I mean, I’m already paying for double occupancy in hotels anyway. And you know that I wouldn’t deny anyone a meal if I am eating something. If you are the backpacker type of traveler, we are a good match because I would rather spend time and money exploring local cultures and peoples than “staying in” in fancy hotels. It’s not a honeymoon. It’s just a trip!
Dear Future BF,
No, I don’t have any intention of marrying you at first meeting. I’m not trying to be pushy, but if you run out of ideas for a first date, let’s try mine. Let’s have lunch. Coffee is overrated, and I don’t want caffeine to get in the way. Sure, lunch is a little costlier, but it’s okay. I’m footing the bill. I am not a poor boy anymore. If you’re into me, you’ll stay for dessert. If I’m into you, I’ll probably suggest a movie. How about that?
P.S. If you belong to the working class, we can always substitute dinner for lunch. And maybe more wine instead of a movie? Everything can be arranged. I’m pretty easy!
Dear Future BF,
Please understand that I am not desperate to find you. If I were, I wouldn’t be so bold (and demanding?) to enumerate my requirements and prerequisites for a potential boyfriend. I would rather remain single and unattached than be loved lightly or be duped by you.
If I sound so eager, that’s just me being thrilled at the possibility of falling in love again. That’s just me being excited for you. I mean, you have a deadline to beat. (There is a reason why this is called The September Project. It surely ends on September 30th!)
Without you coming to my life in September, I’ll be okay. I’ll probably tour around the Asia-Pacific region alone, but I don’t think I will be that lonely. I’m pretty known as someone who knows how to amuse himself in, but especially outside, the country.
Also, I’ll probably occupy myself with something missionary and visionary in October if I don’t find you before September is over. What can I say? One man’s loss (yours!) is sometimes humanity’s gain.
So, there. Just because I made an effort to tell you I’m available doesn’t mean I’m dying to meet you. Don’t be a jerk. The world is full of them. I don’t need my boyfriend to be another number in that stats.
Dear Future BF,
I hope you are not attached to physical beauty because I just chopped off my crowning glory to benefit the cause of children who need wigs because they suffer hair loss as a result of aggressive chemotherapy. This is one thing that most people do not realize: Children who wear synthetic wigs are most likely to be bullied by their peers compared to children with wigs made of real hair. Can you imagine having cancer, undergoing chemo, and still be bullied for wearing synthetic wigs, all at the age of eight or nine? Not all the other children are angels, and we know they can’t always hold their amoral (or sometimes, just honest) tongues.
I really like my hair at a certain length because I think it flatters my fair facial features; but more than my vanity, there is my heart that luxuriates in compassion. I hope that you also find that sexy; because I do. I always think that people who do grand gestures of kindness and compassion are most attractive and desirable. People who can think of other people, and put them ahead of themselves, are a big turn on for me; they are the real Prince Charming./PN

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