MY LIFE AS ART

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BY PETER SOLIS NERY
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The Rise of the Alpha

THIS is my belief: Some people are meant to lead the pack. Naturally, they should be smart, courageous, responsible, reliable, powerful, not necessarily brawny, although they can be that, too. These people, in my dictionary, are called alphas.
When I say I’m an alpha gay, I only mean that I possess those qualities mentioned above, and I just happened to be gay. Actually, I’m just an alpha, period. But distinctions have been made about alpha males, and alpha women. Well, I’m an alpha male, who happened to be gay, too. But since I make a lot of beta males uncomfortable with my power, wit, usog (or dungan), and utog, I’m happy to declare myself alpha gay.
In my mind, an alpha should not cause discomfort among the betas. In fact, an alpha should attract betas to increase his/her power, and the strength of his/her the pack.
I used to be a loner. Since hitting puberty until I was 35, I was pretty independent. And then, I got married to someone who was submissive to me. My husband only lived to please me and to do my bidding. He may have been older, but I wore the pants in the house. Himself retired, he became my chef, butler, and chauffeur while I busted my ass working as an orthopedic nurse in Los Angeles. He dedicated himself to me, and attended to all my whims and needs. He totally spoiled me rotten. In that way, I really felt truly loved and cared for. In fact, I was hoping that he would have a long life so I can take care of him when the time comes.
What? You are not calling my BS? Haha!
Here’s the truth: I wanted my husband to live longer because he was more “useful” to me when he was alive. I mean, he had a monthly pension that we both spend with abandon, he cleans my house and does my laundry, and I didn’t have to call wondering if anyone is available for sex. So, please, none of those wicked suspicions that I wanted my husband dead sooner than later.
There was also a reason why I worked my husband as a slave, or pushed him to bottom position. Politically, I was trying to go against the stereotype of Asians willingly conquered and subjugated by blue eyed Americans. Ef that! I wanted to prove that Asians can dominate Americans, too. Thus, my bedroom activities became part of that political consciousness and desire to overturn tradition.
I grew up with gay models who are catchers of below-the-belt pitches from supposedly straight men. Well, I know more about versatility in pitcher-catcher relations, and I’m proud to report that I became an efficient and proficient top pitcher with my husband. Eight years of practice can turn a bottom psychology into a top player frame of mind, I can assure you that. I’m a certified top. Now, deal with that thought, and understand why I can be so cocky in the land of bottoms.
My husband’s sudden and unexpected death changed my philosophy about living to the fullest, and delayed gratification. Where before I was patient and always saving the best for last, I now go for grabbing life by the balls, and getting pleasure where it can be found. For all the rest, there’s Visa and MasterCard.
Today, I just want to spend my little money enjoying the rest of my life. I also want to be seen as a success that I am, so now, I travel with a pack, an entourage, if you please. I got bodyguards, and personal assistants, secretaries and stylists, runners and gaffers. I like the fact that I can afford it. And I like being surrounded by a pack. So, it matters that I surround myself with gay betas. They are an efficient, creative, and funny, if not original, brood.
I’ve always been a front runner. I can’t breathe walking side by side with others. I like the front and center position, never mind that it’s a target position. The thing is, I’m a great front runner. I’m a natural born leader. It helps very much that I am very, very, very smart; but my biggest and most charming quality is my enormous desire to help people attain their best potentials.
I am an alpha not because I am rich, or because I am a loudmouth. I am an alpha because I am nurturing, and I genuinely empower others to be the best versions of themselves.
I mean, that’s why you read my column, right? You know that you always end up smarter, and more compassionate and understanding, when you read from an alpha writer. Admit it!/PN

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