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[av_heading heading=’RAMBLINGS OF THE UNMARRIED | ‘Salig’’ tag=’h3′ style=’blockquote modern-quote’ size=” subheading_active=’subheading_below’ subheading_size=’15’ padding=’10’ color=” custom_font=”]
BY GORDON Q. GUILLERGAN
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Saturday, May 13, 2017
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“Have enough courage to trust love one more time and always one more time.” ― Maya Angelou
ONE OF my favorite Greek myths is about Cupid and Psyche. Theirs is a story about love that can never live where there is no trust.
Trust is a key part of a relationship. Do you see certain things that make you lose trust in your partner? Do you have unresolved issues that prevent you from trusting others?
Carol Sorgen, author of 7 Relationship Problems and How to Resolve Them, notes several things to deal with your trust issues.
Be consistent.
Be on time.
Do what you say you will do.
Don’t lie – not even little white lies to your partner or to others.
Be fair, even in an argument.
Be sensitive to the other’s feelings. You can still disagree but don’t disregard your partner’s feelings.
Call when you say you will.
Call to say you’ll be home late.
Carry your fair share of the workload.
Don’t overreact when things go wrong.
Never say things you can’t take back.
Don’t dig up old wounds.
Respect your partner’s boundaries.
Don’t be jealous.
Be a good listener.
There will always be problems in a relationship, Paulette Kouffman-Sherman, author of Dating From the Inside Out says. But you both can do things to minimize marriage problems, if not avoid them altogether.
First, be realistic. Thinking your mate will meet all your needs – and will be able to figure them out without your asking – is a Hollywood fantasy.
“Ask for what you need directly,” says Sherman.
Next, use humor – learn to let things go and enjoy one another more.
Finally, be willing to work on your relationship and to truly look at what needs to be done. Don’t think that things would be better with someone else. Unless you address problems, the same lack of skills that get in the way now will still be there and still cause problems no matter what relationship you’re in.
Trust falls under Article 68 of the Family Code which requires spouses to observe mutual love, respect and fidelity.
If you observe love and respect, you learn to trust. And when you trust you gain loyalty and give the same.
It is quite hard to regain lost trust. Forgiveness might seem futile but not if love isn’t lost.
Make room to trust people, or trust again. Perhaps the kind that is not limitless but the kind that gives second chances./PN
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