I’M REALLY a Momma’s boy.
I’m not a fan of my dad.
I grew up thinking he was an irresponsible asshole.
I’m not going to deny that I physically fought with my dad several times.
Because he wasn’t the best dad for me, I learned to be independent, and resilient, very early on.
How strong I am as a person today, I owe mostly to my dad’s ineffectiveness.
On my own, I learned effective, and many, coping mechanisms.
But it was my dad, and our poverty, that occasioned these coping mechanisms which served me well in the harsh, and unfriendly real world.
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I have many dream businesses.
But there are no real big plans.
People close to me say I have no business sense.
That I run things very emotionally.
Romantically, even.
I’m not very practical with money.
I am dreamy with fanciful ideas like sharing with my countrymen and women, my town mates, what I have seen in other parts of the world.
Like, I want a themed café.
With French music, and pastry.
With no wifi, but with great personal service.
With service crew that are friendly, courteous, and smart enough to interact with intellectuals, and sophisticates who can splurge on a P300 coffee that is not Starbucks.
And my friends just dismiss me with “Good luck with that!”
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Luckily, my late husband has witnessed every experience in my life that I wish my significant other could have seen to better understand me.
But for the next one who comes along, I wish he could have seen me at my Palanca Awards Hall of Fame induction.
Being elevated to the literary Hall of Fame is such a powerful landmark to understand my commitment to the writing, and promotion, of Philippine literature.
I want my future partner to understand why I take it as my life mission to continue writing primarily for Filipino readers and audiences.
And why I spend so much of my own money in the promotion of Philippine arts, literature, and culture.
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There is no one particular time that I ever laughed the hardest.
I often laugh.
And I laugh hard.
I know laughter yoga.
I understand the benefits of belly laughing.
And yes, I can force myself to laugh until the laughter becomes so real, and so hard.
But I do it best with other people.
Like in the company of my closest friends, or in my stand up comedy performances.
When I see people doubling over with laughter from my antics, I could really laugh so hard that I would end up crying.
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Most people don’t travel because they are afraid of getting lost.
I don’t fear being lost, especially on uncharted trips.
For as long as there are no schedules and deadlines to meet, I am okay with getting lost.
In fact, I like it.
In foreign cities, I like just walking about, and exploring what’s around me.
I like playing the role of the lost boy despite my not-so-boyish age.
Why should I be embarrassed about asking for directions if I need it?
As I see it, the locals should be so grateful I even toured their city, or town, that they should extend all courtesies to me.
By talking to people on my travels, I am enriched even more with the experience of human contact and interaction.
I’m also not afraid of the idea of being lost alone in a forest, or a desert.
I mean, I could die trying to find my way out, but at my age, it would be a great challenge.
And if I don’t survive it, I think it is a very honorable way to go. (500tinaga@gmail.com/PN)
