BY AIZA DELA CRUZ
OUR SENSE of peace was shattered again by the seemingly continuous violence against people on the autism spectrum. When we thought such violence would be impossible here in the Philippines, considering our close-knit community relationships, we were shocked with the news that police shot dead an autistic in Valenzuela. Such violence is close to home. Incidents like this happen, and we cannot help, but fear for our son’s future.
Some blame us, parents, for allowing our autistic children to grow in their own world, unaware of what is happening around them, or failing to teach our children to “properly” assimilate them into society. Prejudice and violence are the reasons why we seem to want our children to be in their “bubble of safety.”
Some blame the parents for allowing their autistic child to go out and roam free as if an autistic child is a dog that must be leashed and never let out. When we have taught our children to be independent to interact with the community, their autistic behaviors are considered “aggression” and immediately dealt with extremely. In Valenzuela, the autistic teen was shot dead. Not arrested or pinned down, but shot dead.
People do not realize the amount of time and resources we parents put into our autistic children to ensure they can independently function in a society that doesn’t favorably look upon them. When it is the society that should make proper accommodations for them; so they could be included in the community, it is these people with special needs who have to work hard to be accepted and included. And when they worked hard to be acknowledged, a trace or a show of their “behavior different from the norm” is considered aggression or weirdness, and they are treated harshly with disdain.
There is no problem with people on the spectrum, those with special needs or with disabilities. There is a problem with the collective thinking of “normal” people who believe there is a “normal” way of living and acting in this world. We are not factory-made built with the same specifications. We all are different from each other. This world would not have progressed if not for the difference, the weird, the radicals, and the eccentric.
Dr. Temple Grandin once said, “What would happen if the autism gene was eliminated from the gene pool? You would have a bunch of people standing around in a cave, chatting and socializing, and not getting anything done.”
Society should acknowledge and accept people with different abilities and their contributions. People need to treat them as equals and not less of them or a freak show, take them seriously and not look down on them as if they could not understand, and see them for their abilities and capabilities instead of their disabilities.
Awareness and sensitivity training should be a must. Law enforcers, especially policemen since they interact with the people constantly, should be educated and trained on dealing with people with special needs. Although it should be a given that law enforcers should act with compassion and benevolence to all, they should be more so when dealing with those with special needs as some may not understand a situation they are in or do not know how to respond to a situation.
Many do not know, but we parents teach and train our children about the various societal rituals. We teach them how to greet people, introduce themselves, and even explain why they should do so.
I remember when I told my son to greet his grandparents. My son just looked at me confusingly. He does not understand such a relationship. Only when he watched videos that showed a family with grandparents did he acknowledge his grandparents. He still does not understand the relationship. All he knows that a family has grandparents, and he named them “grandma” and “grandpa” even though told to call them “lola” and “lolo”.
If an autistic child was not taught and trained in a specific relationship and situation, he will never know and will not behave in a way other people expect such a “normal” response or behavior. They will ignore you and resist interaction with you. It’s not because they are aggressive, but they do not have a relationship with you. They don’t know you so they won’t interact with you. Simple as that.
Those in the service industry should also be educated and trained. They interact with people, and some who may avail of their services may be persons on the spectrum. I remember the hotel and coffee shop incidents whose personnel did not handle well the situations involving people with special needs. One of the ways we parents do to assimilate and familiarize our children with other people and situation is by making them participate in our dealings with the various service sectors such as going to the doctor, buying food at the grocery store, ordering food at fast-food centers, and staying in hotels and resorts, among other things.
Most importantly, I believe schools should include lessons about people with special needs and how to deal with them. The best way to educate a society is through the schools. An educated and trained generation of students will be a great help and contribution in accepting people with different abilities. It is the only way to “normalize” differentness.
I enjoin everyone to have more compassion and understanding for all children with different abilities.
I would also like to hear the experiences of other parents who have children on the autism spectrum. You may email me at genevieveaiza.delacruz@gmail.com. I am a member of the Autism Society Philippines (ASP), a national non-profit organization dedicated to the well-being of persons on the autism spectrum disorder./PN
