‘Wanking’ the dead!

DEMOCRACY is not dead, only Ninoy and Cory Aquino are.

And what is this rabid almost sexual fascination by the “devotees to the cult of the yellow ribbon” and other idiots with death, particularly with the now decomposing corpses of Ninoy and Cory Aquino and Jessie Robredo?

The very same “devotees to the cult of the yellow ribbon” and other idiots also have this rabid and almost sexual desire to exhume the corpse of the late President Ferdinand Marcos from his grave at the Libingan ng mga Bayani.

How utterly morbid and bizarre this almost fanatical fascination with corpses.

For all intents and purposes this column is going to be morbid. We’re going to be talking about dead people used as props and dildos as political foreplay everytime there’s local or national elections.

Of course, the usual suspects in this rather kinky practice of “wanking” the dead as political foreplay are all of the above.

Before we view the body (pun intended) let’s define a couple of terms first:

Necrophilia – having sexual attraction for the dead

Necropolitics – the relationship between sovereignty and power over life and death. In the Philippine context it means using someone’s death to win an election.

And it will not come as a surprise if Dr. John Watson will ask his esteemed partner, the “world’s foremost consulting detective”, Sherlock Holmes, who these people are and why this extreme fascination with decomposing corpses. Are they escaped mental patients from the National Mental Hospital in Mandaluyong?

Elementary, my dear Watson. This very noisy minority with this rabid fascination with corpses are the very same people that forced upon the natives the widows and offspring of these corpses in the first place and these are also the same people now complaining about the anti-illegal drugs campaign of President Duterte.

Most of these people are well into their ‘60s and are usually has-been actors or “one hit wonder” singers, politicians, irrelevant and obsolete communists, so-called activists way pass their prime, Frappuccino-infused millennials, oligarchs, include also the social climbers and bored housewives from Forbes Park and Ayala Alabang. They have a penchant for wearing yellow clothes and humming “Tie a Yellow Ribbon”.

These people have a fascination with the dead, perhaps bordering on necrophilia. Their own brand of necropolitics made a totally incompetent Corazon Aquino president just because her husband was assassinated (some say it was self-inflicted). At that time it was the presidential snap elections and what the “devotees to the cult of the yellow ribbon” did was to parade around Metro Manila the bloodied and not embalmed corpse of someone they claim to be “Ninoy Aquino”. Take note that the passport found on the corpse identified him as one Marcial Bonifacio, a Malaysian citizen.

It was a morbid and bizarre political foreplay using a bloodied, un-embalmed corpse as dildo to stimulate the natives into political orgasm to vote for the widow of Ninoy Aquino or Marcial Bonifacio.

And it worked. The incompetent widow Cory Aquino became president.

Likewise when she died they also paraded her corpse; at least this time they had the decency to have it embalmed with full burial honors befitting a former President of the Republic.

Of course, the natives were again titillated into political orgasm and made her nincompoop son Noynoy Aquino president.

Unfortunately for the “devotees to the cult of the yellow ribbon” and other idiots, Korina Sanchez was very much alive and refused to die so Mar “Daang Matuwid” Roxas was left with no corpse to parade around and lost his presidential ambition to Rodrigo Duterte.

These usual suspects also did the same style of necropolitics with the widow of DILG secretary Jessie Robredo whose bizarre death remains questionable. But it seems that Jessie Robredo’s corpse appeal is not sexy enough that it needs a well-oiled machinery to achieve political orgasm. 

Thus, Leni Robredo became vice president not because Jessie Robredo is dead but because of the PCOS machines.

These people need to keep themselves relevant, and running around with corpses and pray-overs seem to be their weapons of choice. But it seems they’re running out of corpses.

By the way, “wanking” is a British slang for masturbating. So there./PN

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