THE COMPLETE title of this article is “Why Wattpaders can’t win a Nobel Prize for Literature, or the Palanca Awards.”
In Part 1, The PSN gave his credentials to speak on the matter at hand.
This is Part 2.
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Enjoy Wattpad, read Wattpad, write Wattpad.
Just understand that trash literature is trash literature.
And Insta literature, in the hands of beginners, is almost always trash.
And just please do not call yourselves Writers, or Artists.
Have some respect for the meaning of the words.
(For complete and authoritative definitions of Art, Literature, Writers, Porn, 21stCentury, please read my textbooks!)
If you cannot respect the sanctity of words…
If you blaspheme Literature by calling yourselves Writers without having proven anything worthwhile (again, teen-level writing contests not counted)…
May the thinking part of your brain, the cerebrum and the Broca’s and Wernicke’s areas, shrink into the size of a mung bean!
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Seriously, I mean that you start with Wannabes.
Call yourself a Wannabe.
(Nothing wrong with being a Wannabe, except when you are egotistical or narcissistic like me!)
Hone your writing talent as a wannabe, then become great.
Win some respectable literary contests (online WriCons not counted!).
Get published by some prestigious magazines and publications.
Or, at the very least, get a knowing and intelligent review by some senior (we call them Veteran) writers, or intelligent editors (not just grammar Nazis).
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Literature, capital letter L, is a tradition. It has a history.
It’s like the papacy.
Jesus touched Peter.
Peter touched the succeeding leaders of the church, the succeeding pope and bishops.
The pope touches the bishops.
The bishops touch the priests.
The priests touch the children. —Wait, what?
Okay, maybe “touching” is not the right word.
But there’s definitely the laying of the hands!
The transfer of the holy-whatever.
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And so it is with Literature.
Why do you think we have MFAs in Creative Writing at higher institutions of learning?
Why do you think most writers end up teaching?
Why do you think most critically successful writers are in the academe?
Why do you think we have literary cliques and literary mafias and their circle of jerks?
Why do you think we have writing groups and writing workshops with (I did not say “dirty”!) old men and women as panelists?
Why do you think you are looked down so low at Wattpad? — I mean, Who touched you? (Other than yourself, idiot!)
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Wattpad is fan-based writing.
Reader-based. Following-based. Peer-based.
F4F — Follow for Follow — is a norm.
You read my sh*t, I’ll eat your sh*t.
That’s their Wattpad family.
So yeah, they’re sistaz, sissies, bruhs, momshies, anakiz, big daddies(?), and all those incestuous “literary” relationships.
They got queens and working (wanna)bees who are fans that will get nowhere because they’re worse than second-rate trying hard copycats.
(It’s a marketing scheme, moron!
Wattpad wants your friends list.
Wattpad wants you to get people kept logged on, and keep logging back in if they’re kicked out because those poor unfortunate souls have consumed all their free data and cellphone load, or when their wi-fi is gone.)
The taxi meter is running, idiot!
If you still don’t get that, go to a nearby church or mosque, and pray for Enlightenment. (To be continued/PN)
