ON MY 51stbirthday, I stayed largely at home in Vancouver, Canada.
I did some prayer time, and reflection on my life so far.
Below is The Ten Summations I came up with.
It garnered a lot of praise, and had plenty of reposting on Facebook.
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Ten Important Things Peter Solis Nery Learned at 50 (or sooner):
1. You cannot rely on other people for your happiness. Even if they are the love of your life.
2. Other people will always f*ck you up at one time, or often, or most of the time. Even if they are your own family.
3. You can actually disengage from toxic people. Even if you love them very much. When you (or they) mature, you can just reconcile. It will be easy, I promise.
4. It’s okay not to say “I’m sorry” if you are not at fault. You have a choice not to own other people’s stupidity.
5. It’s okay to be just okay. It’s also okay not to be okay sometimes. Just look at the big picture.
6. Even if you don’t believe in God, the big picture will pull you through. But so will God (and time, and perseverance).
7. We were taught so many terrible things. Like self-sacrifice, delayed gratification, and even the demonization of sex. Sex is really wonderful. Don’t believe otherwise.
8. Diploma, title, financial success do not automatically result to happiness and success as a person. (I’ve known educated, and wealthy, jerks.) The capacity to love, and to care for others do.
9. Love is a wonderful thing. But love with open eyes, if you want to minimize your heartaches. There’s a thing called smart loving.
10. Happiness is always a choice. It’s like optimism. It’s a mental thing, something you can control. It’s not based on standards of other people.
So, don’t criticize my one-year old photo.
I’m happy to think of this happy time (in Puerto Rico.)
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I’m a social media influencer not because I endorse commercial products, but because I endorse happiness, zest for life, freedom of expression, responsible sex, and basic human and spiritual truths that are often distorted by other people.
I’m not followed by diehard fanatics, but by people who realize that they can drop me at anytime that I become irrelevant in their lives.
And I pray that I become obsolete in their lives, because that would mean I have succeeded as an inspiration.
But in the meantime, I enjoy being part of their journey to become the best versions of themselves.
I can’t sing, but I can warble something operatic in front of NYC’s Metropolitan Opera.
(Posted with a photo of me in red belting out O Sole Mio at the Met.)
Damn it, that takes a lot of guts, if not real talent.
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Again, on my birthday this year, Facebook shared this memory from six years ago where I wrote:
“GREATNESS AT 45:
I ask for nothing more.
I am so happy and content with my life.
Thank you to everyone who greeted me here on Facebook.
I did try to read each one of your messages, and mark them ‘liked’, as I prayed for you, because I truly appreciated them.
I hope that I didn’t miss any.
Since Christmas, I couldn’t think of something to ask for myself, so my only birthday wish is this:
That all the happiness that you wish for me, and all the love that you showered me, be all given back to you.
I wish you much love, good fortune, and happiness this year 2014.
My heart is truly grateful.”
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In reposting, I included this status statement:
“SIX YEARS! And the same sentiments of wishing others love and happiness on my birthday. I’m just getting better at it!”
Because, frankly, you can’t fake a heart, and a personality, like mine. (500tinaga@gmail.com/PN)
