STILL in Vancouver.
And I’m thinking, I love my life!
Facebook keeps reminding me of great memories.
Eight years ago, this was my post—
My battle cry to share: Live a truly creative life.
Always express who you are.
Don’t hold back.
Just go for it all!
So, when it came up in my Facebook Memories, I reposted it with this usual bravado—
OMG! So, I’ve subscribed to this lifestyle and philosophy for almost a decade (8 years!) already?
No wonder I am such a positive and happy person now.
Stick to the motto. Haha.
Because that’s the truth.
I am so much happier now than say five years ago.
And much, much, much happier than eight years ago.
And much happier than twelve years ago.
If positive thinking is foolishness, I have effectively fooled myself.
But I will die happy.
Foolish and fooled, but happy.
What about you?
All these throwbacks kind of interest me.
It’s nice that my life is heavily documented.
Not only on Facebook, but also in the newspaper.
In 2013, I wrote for another newspaper.
Because its owner/publisher is a good friend.
My rules of engagement were simple: Treat me with the same star treatment that Panay News affords me.
My publisher-friend said, We will treat you even better.
So, I wrote for that newspaper with my brand of newspaper writing.
Bitchy, brash, but always honest, brilliant.
I think my readers see that.
And they love my honesty.
They know I’m not a hypocrite.
They know I write not to please anyone.
Let’s see what I wrote back in July 2013, shall we?
What makes PSN excited?
Other than writing subjects and ideas that possess me?
I’d say, the experience of the theatre, which I attend a lot in L.A., and movies, which I watch a lot on the big screen and on DVD.
I still enjoy sex, but it’s not really number one on my list.
It never was. If at all, I enjoyed flirting more than the actual sex.
But I’m married now, so the flirting is all just play.
I like writing for an audience, so I’m also very visible online, especially on Facebook.
I think the diva in me is still excited by the Facebook ‘likes.’
In this world drowning in misery and negativity, who can blame me if I seek and bask on constant affirmation?
Some people need coffee, some people need compulsive sex, I just need people to like me, is that such a crime?
But don’t get me wrong. I have a healthy understanding of myself.
I will not die if people don’t like me, but if they do, it’s like having diamond earrings and a pearl necklace.
Why is being liked so important to PSN?
Uhmm, because I am not a hypocrite?
Let’s see. I have my basic needs covered.
I can afford food, shelter, and clothing.
I have a job and family security.
I have sex and intimacy.
I have confidence and achievement.
What else can a person want?
I know that being liked is not a priority in others because they can hardly eat.
For example, the petty thieves, well, they don’t need to be liked because their bigger need is to survive.
The corrupt politicians, they are corrupt because they need financial and job security.
I’m way above these people.
In the hierarchy of needs, what motivates me is self-actualization.
If I just like to be liked, I can pander to your needs and write only what you want to hear, or read.
But I like to be liked, and adored, for my philosophy and achievements.
I like to influence people positively.
It’s not like I’m going to stop doing that just because three people do not agree with me.
Tell us more about PSN’s desire to “influence people positively.”
I think that it is naïve for most people to think that I’m only writing in the newspaper to aggrandize and promote myself.
I mean, what’s the point? I’m not even living among you in the Philippines!
But, if you expand your thoughts beyond your sheer envy and jealousy of my media clout, then perhaps you will see that I am using my star power to effect society change.
I write about my wretchedness so you can identify with me and get in touch with your fallen nature.
I self-congratulatorily write about my successes so that you can join me celebrate not mine, but your possibilities.
I write about my travails, even if I know that most readers are turned off by victimizations, because you need to see that there is hope.
That change and transformation is possible.
That self-reinvention and self-actualization is achievable.
Do you think I enjoy harping on the injustices done to me when I am better off remembering only my triumphs?
I’m doing it for you, idiots!
So really, only the truly ungrateful get tired of liking me! (To be continued/PN)