ONE SUNNY afternoon, many Augusts ago, a good friend shared with me how, in his lifetime, he had loved several women. I was shocked to hear his revelation because I knew he was married. It was an easy confession on his part, perhaps because he trusted me. During the conversation, I asked whether his wife had noticed that he had women in his life across the various places he was assigned. He said no outright. Wow! That requires mastery of action and thought. I wondered how he had managed his duplicitous life. He explained that these women were in places away from their family abode, and he made sure it would not reach his wife and affect their family life. He must have mastered the art of being two people at once—a performance that lasted for years.
He is smart, good-looking, into sports, and a quintessential flirt, if you get the drift. Well, I do not think that he really sought women. Women naturally gravitated towards him. The only thing is, he did not have the gumption to refuse them. He did not draw the line. He accepted it and enjoyed it.
Having been exposed to men who have women other than their wives made me realize that married men are less virtuous than married women. There’s no judgment there; it is my writer’s observation.
I also understand that men love hard, and I mean the other woman, and when the relationship ends, they also feel broken, even inside their marriage. Isn’t that a paradox? Well, one couldn’t quite comprehend it, but it’s happening. If it were not, how come we have movies that depict this well-researched phenomenon? Don’t think for one second that films are not inspired by real-life stories. Oftentimes, art imitates life.
Back to my friend.
What goes around, comes around. Finally, my handsome friend was compelled to break the relationship because the wife eventually found out! You cannot really keep a secret forever, huh! Naturally, a scene ensued, the likes of which movies portray—I do not have to graphically describe it —and he was made to choose between his family and the girl.
You can guess who he chose: his family.
But that is not the end of the story. Afterward, he felt heartbroken. My, my, he must have really loved her, I thought to myself. The mysteries of love. He struggled to let go, but eventually he had to, and he endured the residual pain. So, what is it then? What did he feel for her? Was it only lust? Sexual pleasure? Probably not, because he was tormented when the relationship ended. I dare say he loved the other woman.
When the illicit relationship halted, he decided to start a new leaf. We sat down a few years later, and he confided once more that he was going to change because the affair hurt his children and violated their respect for him, and that of his wife, who trusted him unequivocally. Sigh. The saga of a philandering husband.
I sat there, brooding, feeling lost about the dynamics of his colorful life, but learning from his story. What a complicated human story. He assured me that he would be faithful in his remaining years. He promised me, as if by telling me, he would become accountable. I told him I would monitor his progress, haha! I was glad that he finally returned to his senses.
Several studies explain the reasons why men womanize, but this article is not one of them. I will not rationalize, judge, or explain the whys and why nots. This is my friend’s story, and I want to put it into words.
You could say that over the years, I have become a depository of revelations like this one. Maybe I can understand because I am a writer. You see, as a writer, you need to open your mind to humanity’s strengths and frailties, all at the same time, to enable you to hear people’s stories without being preachy.
To conclude, this story is specific to my friend and not to be used to justify your own indiscretions, unless you want to launch a tornado of wrath directed at you.
***
On Sunday, March 8, 2026: Happy International Women’s Day to all!
***
The writer hosts Woman Talk with Belinda Sales every Saturday, 10 a.m., at 91.1 Balita FM Tagbilaran City. Email at belindabelsales@gmail.com. Follow us on X @ShilohRuthie./PN
