WHOA! It’s already Part 7 in the series, and I’m not even halfway through the annotation of my short posts on writing.
Still, I feel that we need a break. So perhaps, a little poem? Tongues, baby, tongues!
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Anyway, here’s a feel of me, or at least how I talk, in my workshops:
The first draft. Write from start to finish. Polish later.
Don’t be bogged down thinking about the best third word in your first sentence. You might end up not needing your first sentence.
First drafts are complete unfinished works. They show you the complete flow, the complete arc of your story. From first drafts you will see if something is terribly lacking. From first drafts you will realize you need to totally scrap it, and change your story.
I’d like to read your first final draft. Meaning, I want you to edit your work maybe three times until you are happy with it. Give it your best shot. Your fifth draft is only first draft as far as I’m concerned. But your very first draft is garbage to me if I can sense that you didn’t try to edit it yourself.
Don’t be lazy. I know which works have undergone some revisions just by reading the first paragraph. Or the first sentence even. So, spare yourself the humiliation. Edit yourself at least thrice before even letting me see your fourth draft.
Now, I don’t want perfect works from you in this workshop. If they’re already perfect, send them somewhere. I’ll read them once they’re published. All I want is your best shot at a draft. Because that’s something you and I can work on.
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Polishing the sentence. How many kisses will it take for you to remember me? I will kiss you a million times to make you remember me. As for me, I will only need one kiss. — PSN, first draft for a poem
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This boy had braces, and I wanted to kiss him. But he had them removed before I could. So, I said to myself, focus on his tongue instead. Awesome idea, right?
How many kisses will it take for you to remember me? — that is the draft question. See what I came up with while thinking about polishing that question: “If I kiss you once, will you remember me? Will your lips say my name if I kiss you thrice? And if I kiss you ten times will your tongue remember me? Will your tongue remember the taste of my tongue, the sweet taste of my love?”
At that point, I felt the beginning of a poem. (For instapoets, those four questions are already a poem!) So I just went along with it. I will kiss you a million times to make you remember me. — that is the next draft sentence.
Then, in the middle of writing it, I was just possessed to write this instead, trying to jump from ten kisses to a million: “I will kiss you a hundred times if that’s what it takes for you to remember me, and a thousand times more for your tongue to miss me. I will only let go a little for you to breathe, and for your tongue to miss me, but I will never tire of kissing you, again and again, and ten times, five hundred, and nine hundred million times I’ll kiss you, and more if I have to.”
And if it’s a sonnet, that would be my octet. So I’ll have a volta (a turn of ideas) in the sextet that would follow. Which could be a simple draft sentence: As for me, I’ll only need one kiss.
But if I already have a beautiful beginning, why ruin it with a safe, simplistic last sentence? So, I go on: “As for me, one kiss is all I need to be awake again, to feel alive, to remember again, remember you, my love, and to remember Love, and the lost language of tongues.”
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The Memory of Your Tongue
by Peter Solis Nery
If I kiss you once, will you / Remember me? Will your lips / Say my name if I kiss you thrice? / And if I kiss you ten times / Will your tongue remember me? / Will your tongue remember the taste / Of my tongue, the sweet taste of my love? / I will kiss you a hundred times / If that’s what it takes for you / To remember me, and a thousand times / More for your tongue to miss me. / I will only let go a little for you / To breathe, and for your tongue / To miss me, but I will never tire of kissing / You, again and again, and ten times, five / Hundred, and nine hundred million times / I’ll kiss you, and more if I have to. / As for me, one kiss is all I need / To be awake again, to feel alive, to remember / Again, remember you, my love, and / To remember Love, and / The lost language of tongues./PN
